I suppose you must be here because you'd like to know a little something more about me. Either that, or the Yahoo search engine produced it's normal stellar results, and you are no closer to "harmful revenge method" or "felching" than you were a click ago. Try Google next time.

   Anyhow, as to me...

   Well, what's to tell? In the interest of saving time for us both, I've decided to simply list facts. You may draw your own conclusions.

   I live in Virginia, where I was born. I haven't had a Popsicle in far too long. I lived in Texas for three years, and that is where I met and married my wife. My feet are different sizes, and I find this odd. I am an enormous fan of music, most especially blues-based genres. I have jumped from the roof of a structure no less than three dozen times; I have jumped from a bridge on at least ten occasions. I am not suicidal. I have a cat, the only cat I personally have ever "owned." We call it Church, for very annoying reasons. I also have a dog; I have been accompanied by dogs for almost all of my life. I have fired a 12-guage shotgun, a .22 rifle, a 9mm pistol, a .45 pistol, an M-16 rifle, a grenade launcher, a .50 machine gun, a 7.62 machine gun, and a 120mm cannon. I have never owned a gun. My nose has been broken three times. I have broken two noses with my hands. I have wrecked two cars and one motorcycle. My editorial cartoons and comic strips were once published regularly in the local paper. I have been arrested twice. I have never spent a moment in jail. I've wrecked two vehicles and one motorcycle; I have never been seriously injured. I cut the tip off my right index finger in an industrial accident; I don't consider it a serious injury, and I was back to work on the same machine as soon as I left the hospital. An exorcism was once held in my childhood home. I believe in ghosts, and I write about them often. I enjoy photography. Somewhere in Texas, there is a nude Polaroid of me. I have visited seventeen states and two countries. I wrote my first novel when I was twelve; I am the only person who has ever read it. I lettered in track in high school; running sprints makes me vomit. I think it's funny that "hirsute" looks and sounds like "hairsuit." I love nature; I also enjoy electricity, gasoline, and all sorts of tech gadgets.

   While all of that is good and fine, I mostly like writing, reading and illustrating. In these pages, you'll find a bibliography, some writing samples and some art samples, and an irregularly updated journal. Enjoy your stay, and feel free to send me email.

   Finally, if you're interested in receiving my occasional email newsletter, WHEREABOUTS, drop me a line at gconn@rica.net and I'll put you on the list. Note that this is not any sort of Yahoo group, so you won't be subjected to Yahoo's infernal crap, nor will your email address be made publicly available or even shared with anyone.

Best,
Gary