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-Mary D. Edwards Summer 2000

Rose Dale June 3rd 1866

My dear sweet brother

I received your very dear letter of 24 last Wednesday[.] never was a letter read with more interest than that; it found me enjoying the best of health[,] one of our dear Saveier [sic] best blessing (but how unworthy am I for it) I can say dear brother that I was truly glad to hear from you & do thank my heavenly Father that he put it in your dear good heart to write[.] Willie[,] dear boy[,] I have wronged you[.] will you forgive me [?] I believe I have found forgiveness in the dear Lord but will you forgive for I have been the cause of all this trouble[.] Oh dear brother it will kill me if you dont forgive; just to think that I am the cause of my dear bosom companion being lost, eternially [sic] lost. Oh my dear dear Saveier [sic] pity & forgive for I will give my life for the salvation of that dear Soul [,] yes dear brother[.] I will spend & be spent forgive though the more abundantly I love you the less I be loved: I deserve nothing but your hatred & contempt[.] can I ever be happy again[?] not untill [sic] I see the dear one changed[.] yes a Christian.

Yes[,] my dear brother[,] if you allow me to call you thus last year[,] you started out with prospects bright & allureing[sic] & these were your words ["] Kate[,] I am going to make or brake[sic] & for whom[,] for what[,] for an unworthy credence I (me) that did not deserve the notice of a cat[,] let alone the notice of one so pure[,] so noble[,] so good at heart as thoug [thou] [.] all went on well [,] prospect bright & beghening [sic] grain came in one evry [sic] side[.] I must surely be the happiest man living[.] Oh[!] is this not flattering[?] it is (like) an edene [eden] bower or will be soon[.] but hark[!] I hear a noise & in comes a fine looking old guest. ( Ah the serpent coils in eden bours [bowers] )[.] Weel [well] Mr B[,] don’t you want to go in pardnership [sic] with me[?] you will make money at it; at what [?] why haveing your grain distilled) [.] I wount [sic] go. I must make my money some other way my good heart & God sais [sic] I must not go[.] Ah [!] come[,] dont listen at that. you will make enough soon to get married[.]

"Ah that is charming[.] well I must wait a while & yes I must go & see K. & see what she sais [sic] about it. Pa & R[.] both oppose[.] dont care so much for Pa but K is the one [.] he lays it all out in flattering terms[.] she sais [sic] do as you pleas [sic] & Mr. B. sais [sic] at last conserded [sic] & his word goes as far as mine with with [sic] me & farther too; he goes back but concience [sic] & Pa sias dont go but I am doing it for R when he gets back serpent enters what say you well I dont know I believe I will; well lets draw the article but we must have a dram first[.] no I dont indulge [.] how come going in to such business & dont last it yourself[?] besides you have a cough & that is the very thing[.] any thing for K[.] all done for K. come Mr. B[,] there is a party a head [sic] tonight[.] lets go ____[.] I dont care about it[.] I just got a leter [sic] from K & she is very cold & indifferent. she is always writing something about some nice fellow or her dear friend R that I dont believe she thinks as much of me as she ought. I will go & a way he goes[.] come Mr. B[,] join in the dance I cant; come ____ I will[.] K is perhaps haveing [sic] her fun[.] I will to drive away sorrow[.] Mr[.] B[,] you are very lively to night but it is all put on[.] what is the matter with you[?] well I will tell you[.] I fear my first love is flushed[.] Oh my dear ____ & her thou only knows the agony of that dear heart. Soon the serpent foes to K[.] he has done his will with B. he tell her that B has got to drinking[.] she write a hasty & insulting letter & it insults & wonds [wounds] B sais [sic] I dont care[.] I will go & see her & quit her at once[.] I have done all this for her & this is thanks I get. he comes but love & ____ enters that good heart. I will tell her all my bad deeds & she will turn me off but instead it bound her nearer to him & what next[?] the Serpent is at work[.] he tell K much & she believes & what is the consecuence [consequence] [?] God knows she suffered for it but is she a love[?] no[!] no[!] Oh she ought to be[.] she disserves [deserves] it all & more but enough of this.

My dear brother I take up your letter & read it & how must I write[?] can I answer it[?] you have used candy [.] you dont love me & can I blame you[?] Oh you hate me[.] what must I do [?] Oh my dear Jesus wont thou help me & direct me[?] Willie[,] wont you try to love me if I be a better girl[?] you asked me once to try & love you & I did. brother you say you have been laughed at & ridiculed here lately for your indifferance [sic] for companey [sic]; well you are not alone for I have been all that & more scolded & threatened to be whipped for it & what is it for[?] not for the worldly happiness of any one but it is for the salvation of a dear soul[,] the one who I have been the cause of being lost[.] what is worldly happiness compared with this eternity[?] how long Oh how long shall we not meet in heaven where there are no changes[,] no sin & sorrow known[.] Oh my dear brother meet oh meet me here.

Billie you say you fear the consequence of marrying when your affections are not settled. I acknowledge I am not smart but do you think for one moment that I would marry a man that did not love me[.] no I never expect to find one that really does[.] therefor I expect to remain single & try & make myself useful to my fellow cretures [creatures] [.] one mans happiness is enough for me to distrow [destroy][.] I have sown my wild oats & now I expect to live a spiritual life thought it may be very short[.] yes soon I may sleep beneath the sod but I can say with a thankful heart[.] Oh death where is thy sting[?] O grave where is thy victory, but enough Midie.