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-Mary D. Edwards Summer 2000

Rose Dale July 29th 66

My dear friend

This is a beautiful Sabbeth morn & all nature seems to be sending whids [sic] praises to the great & good God[.] yes I say good when he gives supremely good nor less when he dinies [denies];"& it is Him who deserves the prais [sic] for he does all things well.

Willie I was not well this morning nor have not been for a weeak [sic] & could not go to church so I thought would respond to your dear messive [sic] that I Read last Thursday[.] Oh you know not how I felt when I got it[.] I feared to open it [,] [.] my hand trembled when I grasped it & saw it was from you; but you will say what caused the fear[.] now do not centure [sic] me for my weakness; I feared it would be cold & indiferent[sic] & perhaps bid me neve [never] to right [write] again but when I saw dear Kate[,] it cheared [sic] me up[.] yes I filt [felt] strong again & thought perhaps ther [sic] was some hope & now I am replying with your last request (write soon) yes I will try & comply with evry [sic] request that you make though I have been denied of evry [sic] one I have made[.] I will try & return good for evil; I am resigned to my fate, but I must hasten to respond to your dear sweet letter[.] you say mine caused your sensitive nature to mourn over the past[.] my dear friend I am sorry that I caused you to mourn over the past for it is wicked for me to mourn over it let alone being the cause of another one to be sad[.] forgive me for making you thus. God in his goodness has some wise desine [sic] for doing this so I am willing & alone though the chastening rod had been sever [severe][.] it has brought me nearer him & maid [sic] a better girl of me & I hope ere long dear brother that you will exclame [sic] God is good & does all things well. Willie you wish a relias [release][.] you have loved me I do not doubt that but your affections have changed & you wish to be free again & can I hold thy pure & noble heart[,] bind it to me[?] that is so impure as mine for I have been the cause of you being unhappy & I know not but what I am the cause of you losing your religion though I hope not; no Willie I am not worthy of you[.] I love you & can not help it but Willie it will never harm you[.] love works no ill to any one [.] I never expect to love another nor do not wish to[.] no could I trust another[?] could I ask my dear Father to change that which I asked him to put within my bosom[?] no never[.] but can I claim you when you are chainged[ sic]; Oh my Heavenly Father for bid [sic] no no Willie I care not what may be my fate I can not hold thee to me if you do not wish it nor can I spurn you[.] no Willie I blaime [sic] myself in part of it[.] yes the letter that I wrote last winter just after Christmas I blame for it[.] yes dear Will I will take half of the blame or all of it if it will make you happy for I have borne the blame & centure [sic] of the people for it and more and have it[.] yes Willie I have borne the burden in the heat of the day[.] I cannot cast it all uppon [sic] thee now but will bare [sic] half of it with you. I will tell you some thing that has (come) been said to me[.] Kate you look sad[.] you kicked Billie thinking you could do better & I dont pity you one bit[.] what could I say[?] I denied the charge but it is generly [sic] believed that I did kick you[.] yes I am blaimed [sic] with your drinking which I nive [never] did believe you did though you thought I did. no Willie I could not believe it[.] I would see you laying dead drunk in the mud[.] I would (not) think it was not you though you said the next to the last time you were down here if I ever kicked you that you would get to drinking. but Willie here is the hardest thing I had to endure[,] that I had kicked you & you got to drinking on the account of it & that now I had lost my mind on the account of it[.] Oh, Willie is it not a wonder that I have not lost my mind to be blaimed [sic] with so much that I hope I am inosent [innocent] of & yet I believe it is all for my own good "all work together for good to those that love God[".] yes dear Willie God in all his ways is just & merciful & if we only trust him though we pass through fire it will not harm us.

Willie do not think that I wrote this to make you sad[.] no no dear one I would do anything in my power to make you happy. you say you would like to see me[.] why do you think then it is best for us not to meet; I sorter believe you are a little contrary[,] ha ha & what do you think of that[?] no Willie but why is it & do you think I can not bare [sic] to meet you[?] I have taught or rather God has taught me to bare [sic] much[.] I think I could meet you as cheerful as ever I met you in my life. you say my cup has been bitter[.] it has been bitter[,] Oh far worse than you have any idea of but dear Willie there was some sweets with it at times; you say blame you with it[.] not all dear one cant blame you[,] no no you could not help it for I think that the wicked one has done it not your good heart dictated but you were not happy & he wished to claim you for one of his servents [sic] & persuaded you that you did not love me[.] yes Willie he knew that I was trying to win you back to God & that he would get you to dismiss me at once but my dear Father ordered other wise[.] he bid me not to give thee up Willie dear[.] I believe he has directed me how to wright [write] every letter that I have written to you since you were here & Oh I pray that my dear Savier [sic] may make them the instrument of bringing you back to God[.] Oh dear one, you say you are willing to bear my malice if it but make me happy[.] my malice [,]Willie[,] my malice[,] if I have any in my heart I pray to my dear Savier [sic] for to pluck it out[.]

Willie come to see me & I will tell you what will make me happy[.] Willie I will treat as a fond Sister would a brother[.] miss treat [sic] you[,] no never & as for the rest of the family miss treating [sic] you[,] there are no danger of that[.]

I dont think none but Susie knows how you have treated me[.] I think that she pittied [sic] you[.] now as for Pa & Ma[,] Willie I do not thing they will ever miss treat [sic] you for they see my perfect indifferents [sic] to every other man so Willie I dont think you nead [sic] to fear at all. I was not at the Barbacue [sic] nor none of our family nor I do not regret that I was not there[.] I think Willie there is more harm done at such places than good [.] they had a picknick [sic] at Mintspring & danced in the church[.] Oh that these dances were turned to prayrmeeting [sic], how much sooner could we expect the blessings of God uppon [sic] our country.

Willie All have gone to Sabbeth school this eve but Pa [,] Ma & myself & I feel very lonely [.] Alone yes Alone shall it always be thus[.] Oh my Father forsaken & forgoten [sic] no one to care for me[.] how long Oh how long[?] but enough they will be done[.]

The health of the neighborhood is very good & our family is all well with the excep [exception] of myself[.] I have not been ill but am not well though I hope it is nothing serious[.] I been taking medison [sic] but it has had but little effect. I hope (by I will be well by next Sabbeth ( I will) be well as there are communing [sic] at Bethle {sic] & I want to go[.] Willie do come down & go with me[.]

Sis Lizzie & broth [sic] Jimmie[?] are going to be taken in on _______[.] do come brother & commune with (me) us[.] come & stay down a week & go to the pines whistleberrying [?] we are expecting a nice dance[.] there is talk of a crowd going Tuesday a week[.] I expect we will join the crowd if it goes[.] Willie dont deny me this time but do come. I suppose you heard that Frank McFarling[?] was buried last Monday.

Dear Willie I have some very bad news to relate to you[.] cousin Bell Rubush has lost her mind[.] Oh Willie is it not sad indeed to think such a good woman should be afflicted thus[.] I pitty [sic] her so much[.] we know not what one day may bring forth[.] yes we may be in the bloom of health today & tomorrow we may sink beneath the sod[.] Willie pray dear dear brother[.] ought we not then to strive more & more evry [sic] day to meet our God than to spurn his pleaddings [sic][?] why are we so indiffirent [sic] to out dear Saviers [sic] pleadding .[?] has he not said now is the accepted time brother I am to make my bible my companion[,] my guardian[,] through life as I have nothing to care for in this world but why have I nothing to care for [?] does not Willie call me dear Kate once more & will he not return [?] I can only hope. Oh Willie I have never told you about my little pett[sic], Ida[,] Lizzie little babe. she is the sweetest little thing that I ever saw[.] sis brings her up evry [sic] Sunday[.] did not come today[,] I do not know when will be here next - les [sic] nothing happened she leaves her here when she goes to church[.] I know you will love her[.] Willie do come down next Saturday evening[.] you can get some one to sat in the mill that long[.] I will look for you[.] dont let me be disappointed[.] wherever there is a will there is a way[.] but enough

[Written in margin at beginning of letter:] Well I must close this disordered note now[.] Willie let nothing in this hurt your feelings or cause you to be sad but be cheerful & happy & come to see me & you will find me as a sister[?] please excuse all imperfections[.] Willie if it is impossible for you to come write some but I want to see you your own dear self[.] your ever true & fond friend Midie

Willie read the 7th Chap from the 8th to the 12th verses & the 16th of second Corinthians[.] they express my sentiments to thee. my eyes are getting very week [sic] or I would write more but I expect I will worry you with this[.] Your as ever , Midie